A Day of Romantic Comedies and Christmas

I try not to bring religion onto this blog, but I love Christmas. Who doesn't, besides Scrooge? So yesterday was a hang-in day, besides the fact that I went-out to the movies to see the annual shitty Christmas romantic comedy. I've seen them all. Like, seriously. And they all suck ass.




But anyway, the film I speak of is Four Christmases, the one that mocks Reese Witherspoon's petite height on the poster. Based off of the crummy reviews and the pretty bad trailers ("Every time I sneeze, I pee a little."...classy flick, huh?), I had pretty low expectations. Yet, to my pleasant surprise the film was pretty good, registering a few laughs. You could tell the crowd fliggin' loved it. People were, like, barreling over in laughter when Vince Vaughn barfed because he saw barf. Kind of stupid, but marginally grin-inducing (...'cause Vaughn is pretty funny sometimes).

Remember Vince Vaughn had that pointless cameo in Into The Wild? That was so pointless...

So, did I like the movie? Kind of. It had its moments both good and bad. Some horrible parts:

• Reese Witherspoon beating little kids on a moon-bounce-type structure in order to retreive a pregnancy test her evil little neice stole when she bombarded into the bathroom and found her aunt on the toilet.
  
• Vince Vaughn inserting a satellite dish on his father's (Robert Duvall) house in the sticks. Vaughn goes on to fall of the roof in a dose of epic hijinx.
  
• Vaughn and Witherspoon perform a religious play at the church of Reese's stepfather (He's a Joel Osteenesque priest). Reese forgets her lines and Vince has to steal the show. Kinda dumb.
  
• (I love bullet points!)

But there was some funny so it gets a pass, and, contrary to many reviews, I thought Vince and Reese had pretty good chemistry, in fact. Worth seeing, three stars.

After my family and I put up the tree and its ornaments, I watched Along Came Polly. Why? you ask. It was on TV and my parents refused to go to the video store and get me Being There or My Left Foot or one of the other films I'm obsessing over seeing. I watched the film with my laptop stationed on my lap, so I wasn't giving 100 percent attention. But overall, I saw enough to give the common-for-a-rom-com score of two and a half stars. Ben Stiller annoys me, but I like Jennifer Aniston and Phillip Seymour Hoffman (who had a surpringly large role (and gut)).

Happy Thanksgiving...

Family Tree by TV on the Radio

Revolutionary Road is a corrosive and heartbreaking masterwork. Sam Mendes'
best film yet is exquisitely cut, blended and calibrated with superb music by
Thomas Newman and legendary performances from Leonardo DiCaprio, Kate Winslet
and Michael Shannon. It's the strongest heavyweight drama I've seen all year so
far -- much more searing and moving than I expected.

-Jeffrey Wells

[New Oscar predictions coming later this week]

My Fantasy Line-up Week 11: Make or Break

For some reason I have this gut feeling that I'm effing myself over this week. I have some mainstays in my line-up that will always do well (Kurt Warner, Calvin Johnson), but then I have some risky little bitches in there (Jerious Norwood, hell, Maurice Jone-Drew). And the thing is?

I can't afford to take any damn risks. If I lose this week, I'm basically knocked out of the playoffs, mathematically. Not that I have the greatest chance, now, as it is, but really all hope is lost if I don't win today.

Here's the line-up...

QB: Kurt Warner
Pro: Well, he's Kurt Warner 2008. An MVP candidate. Seattle sucks against the pass, Warner has the best receivers at his disposle, etc. Can you believe I traded Justin Fargas for Warner, straight up?
Con: No con here really. Seattle has made a few strides as of late, yet mainly on the offensive side of the ball, so it shouldn't affect Kurt's performance.

RB: Jamal Lewis
Pro: Jamal's had a good(?) year. He's been Rain Man-consistent putting up fourteen points in four of his last six games. Not 15, not 13, just 14. Buffalo hasn't looked top notch against the run lately, so Jamal should be in double digits.
Con: When he's not getting fourteen points, he kind of sucks, on average getting about 7 points in non-14-point games.

RB: Maurice Jones-Drew
Pro: He is clearly the goal-line back after that three touchdown ass-kicking last week. Jones-Drew is always a threat through the air, as well.
Con: Well, Tennessee's defensive line is great, and the Jacksonville O-line is made up of mainly back-ups at this point. Fred Taylor actually didn't elicit routine cringing from me last week and could outcarry Jones-Drew. Which would suck.

RB: Jerious Norwood
Pro: He's had three really good games this year and should be able to run all the hell over Denver's shitty defense. He also caught a 68-yard pass last week as well, so watch out for the air strike.
Con: Well..ugh, he's back-up. Yeah. This is realy the run-down for Norwood: he may get 20 points, he may get a goose egg. Make or break for him.

WR: Calvin Johnson
Pro: Catches the deep ball better than anyone else in the league. There, I said it. If he can get a touchdown (WHICH HE USUALLY DOES), than 15 points or more is almost guaranteed.
Con: He's the only valid receiver on the Lions, yada, yada, yada. He still gets open though. Carolina has a great pass defense, too.

WR: Laverneous Coles
(Played on Thursday. Only got 3 points. Dammit, I should of started Donnie Avery.)

TE: Owen Daniels
Pro: Is one of the most consistently good tight-ends (TE) in the league. Its a little hit or miss, but I can see him being open every once in a while, so 5 or more receptions is almost likely.
Con: Indy has a very good pass defense, as always. Owen has a chance to be shut down.

Defense: Tampa Bay

Kicker: John Kasay

So, I'm confident in most of my players that week, but if Jones-Drew or Norwood or both disappoint..well, I'm broken

You used to be alright, what happened?

Et cetera ... Et cetera ... Fads for whatever ...

Time To Worry About 'Australia'?

Probably. And I say that with a heavy heart, for the most part. The truth is, though, I've never been psychopathically excited for this film. I've always thought the idea of it reeked of the faint scent of ... materialism? Is Baz putting story first, or ... bigness first?

Well, obviously bigness. And that may be its fall. A fall at the Academy and possibly a fall in fanbase. I mean, at least Moulin Rouge! had the musical excuse, so it didn't need the most vibrant story. But, Australia may fall short on pulling audiences in for three goddamn hours. Yes, its pretty. The cinematography will be delectable. The costumes and sets are clearly masterworks. But is that enough?

Oh, and then, don't even start me on, um, how it's not finished. Cripes. The show's coming out in a few weeks, Baz! Speed the hell up! So, we're going to rush this Gone With The Wind-big movie through post production? That's wise.

Oh, and now we're changing the ending? Are we? After a dreadful test screening?

I don't want to have to sasy this, but:

Epic Flop Time. The studio execs will be hesitant with Baz from now on.

At least, we'll always have this...

Random Hilarious SNL Clip of the Day, A Very NBC Couch-Sitting

Randomly, NBC played a repeat of that Presidential Bash 2008 episode they had on Monday (Election Eve) and luckily I caught half of it. Most of it I had seen (those Palin skits are starting to get really annoying), but before commercial they would show a quick clip of a past political sketch. This one is poking fun at the mentally-unstable James Stockdale, along with H. Ross Perot. It's pretty damn hilarious.



On another note...

I had 30 Rock and The Office on Tivo. 30 Rock had Oprah on. As always, the 30 Rock writers came up with a hilariously unexpected and goofy twist on Oprah's cameo. I especially loved the part where "Oprah" talked about her favorite things, which included saltwater toffee, sweater capes, high-heeled sandals, and calypso music.

And, The Office, well, it's not what it used to be. Like, two seasons ago, it was possibly my favorite show on the telly (I'm not British.) Now, though, the writers seem to veer off on an odd track. Like, I never laugh while watching it. Luckily, though, this week's episode was probably the best of the season, so far.

I Needed That Hiatus

But now I think I'm back. I don't know. I'm sorry I haven't been around, but I felt comfortable not blogging. TCK became too routine and it began to feel like work. I structured things too much, but I love structure. I really do.

But anyway, I'm back for the most part. I'll make no guarantee that I'll firmly stay for good, but, yes, I'm back.

Things may be different around these parts, but maybe...for the better?

I don't know. It's just a little blog. Let's see what the hell happens.