Assessing The Big Brother 11 Field

Okay, I have a confession you're going to have to get over: I'm semi-obsessed with the "classic" CBS reality show, "Big Brother." And this summer, since it's just so fascinating to me, I'm going to blog about the guilty pleasure on a weekly basis, probably. The season premiere was last night, and it was just as good as always. This sounds so pathetic, but at the end of the episode, I said to myself, "I'm going to be spending my summer with these people." Scary, huh? Well here are the houseguests:

Braden: "My names is Braden. Like "braidin'" hair, it's as easy as that." He's the surfer dude, part-time cocky bastard. I kind of already hate him. He was already showing off in the first competition (then was promptly eliminated) and has the aura that he thinks he's pretty great.

Casey: The Obligatory Old Guy, except he's only 40. I think he'll be a surprisingly good physical competitor and might be able to make friends, as he comes across sort of self-deprecating and likable. My pick to win it, as of now.

Chima: Annoying as hell, mostly because she laughs hysterically at everything she says. Otherwise, I see her slipping under the radar for a few weeks and maybe have an outburst during the season. That's to be expected.

Jeff: So far he's the heartthrob of the household. The heartthrobs always go the same way: hold up a showmance for a few weeks, have decent gameplay, are gone midway through and then forgotten.

Jordan: The Obligatory Fun-Lovin' Southern Belle. God, this season is predictable. Not much to say about her, really.

Kevin: The Obligatory Snarky Gay Guy. Holy shit. He was hilarious, though, and told it like it was. Maybe a bit too much. He'll inevitably make a ton of enemies, have a few tirades and get out after a few weeks. I know these things.

Laura: Huges ones. You know what I'm talking about. Let's just say Kevin called her "voluptuous." Look for her to hook up with Jeff.

Lydia: Tatooed, punkish girl. I'm already picking up on signs of her being insane. You have to look at the little details. Like when the houseguests were picking rooms she of course had "been shafted" and ended up "with the worst room." She's defensive, moody and angry. Should be interesting to watch.

Michele: She's already rubbing me the wrong way. After she blabbed about the fact that she's not going to tell the house about the fact that SHE HAS A PH.D. Also, she wants to "let loose" in the Big Brother house and not be the "nerdy lab girl" that she apparently is. Ergh.

Natalie: Simply diabolical. Like, seriously? You're already lying? You really think the house is going to suddenly think you don't know your elbow from your ass if you tell them you're four years younger than you actually are? Another insane one. What are we up to in the insanity tally?

Ronnie: Don't really know what to think of him. I'll probably end up hating him, which, you know, isn't a big deal in the Big Brother house. X-Factor: No one wants it more than he does. I can tell.

Russell: Jesse Version 2.0, except with a dash of humanity. Speak of the devil...

Jessie: Okay, I detest this guy, let me say that much. But, there is almost no player more interesting to watch. To get in his psyche and figure what he's actually thinking. Insecure, mad at the world, cocky, manipulative, and bordering on psychotic. The ideal Big Brother houseguest.